WTF?!?! – Legends of the Hidden Temple

will
Will Blanton

As a child of the 1990’s, I grew up watching mostly anything I could get away with. Wrestling and Nickelodeon after school programming was mainly what I could get my eyes on. One show stood out more than all the others, Legends of the Hidden Temple. In preparation for this review, I tried to go back to some playlists I’ve made on YouTube to watch old episodes, and I was super upset when I found out that ALL of the full episodes are removed from the site.  I’ve scoured the internet to dig up anything related to the show and ended up finding some interviews with Kirk Fog, the host of the show, and here’s a few things I found out.

#1) 14 Hour Days?!

When you watch a show as a kid you are only getting it in chunks 20 to 25 minutes at a time, but did you know that the filming schedule was so long because they filmed 3 to 5 shows in 1 day? They would film all the segments in order, all of the Moats, then the Steps of Knowledge, then all the Temple games and then the Temple Runs themselves. The worst part of it is that when the last temple run is ready to go, it’s already 1 maybe 2 in the morning!

#2) It Only LOOKED Impossible!

The set was elaborate, the mechanical Olmec head needed to be in working order, and the temple needed props. How did they keep it all under budget? By making the Temple Runs hard as fuck for a 12 to 16 year old kid! By the numbers provided by “The Kings Storeroom” (http://nicklegends.elfractal.com), the win rate to go to Space Camp was only a staggering 27%! “But what about the Pendants of Life, you fuckwad?” I hear you screaming at me! If you went into the Temple with 2 pendants, the success rate tanks horribly as there was 53 Temple Runs with only 11 wins. (20.8%)

#3)Okay kids, here’s a free trip!

I can’t remember the episode or which season it was in, but I remember vividly that a team actually beat a Temple Run with around 2 minutes to spare. One of the producers didn’t make sure that all the doors were locked to their specific layout after a complete temple reset. Oops. Enjoy the trip kids!

#4) It was way ahead of it’s time.

As most shows from the 90’s were, it was way ahead of it’s time. It won a CableACE award for “Best Game Show” in 1995. But, after filming for season 3 was completed, it was “not a sure bet” (Scott Fishman, then Vice-President of Production Services at Nickelodeon) that a 4th season would be green lit. 120 episodes later and Scott Fishman said “…the network is looking at three new game show pilots just out of production at the Orlando facility that may replace the older shows.”

Do I personally want this show to be back?

Yes.

Do I personally want this to be done right?

Yes.

Will I think we will get it the right way, if at all?

No.

We sit here and be nostalgic for what it was back in the day, put in our set of false teeth and tell the kids to get off our fucking lawns. We always get our nostalgic kick, but it isn’t nor will it ever be the same as we remember it. For fucks sake, we got a “My Family’s Got Guts” and American Gladiators with Hulk Hogan, and it wasn’t as we remember right? I will end it with the following:

“How the fuck will we ever miss you, if you will never go the fuck away?” – Jim Cornette

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