WTF?!?! – Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Green With Evil (Episode 1)

will
Will Blanton

Growing up as a kid without internet was super easy in comparison to today. Every child I see has a cellphone or a tablet with the ability to be educated and entertained. When I was growing up, it was Power Rangers and the NES. Both were entertaining me on a 16 inch tube TV that weighed as much as I did. But, looking back at the entire Mighty Morphin Power Rangers series as a whole…it doesn’t age well.

With the 32 year old me knowing a lot more about the series, like all the fighting scenes being Japanese Sentai footage, it kinda kills it for me. Also, the ADR was REALLY bad to my ears. I’ve heard better dubbing in hentai.

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I mean, take a look at this screen shot within the first 5 minutes of the Green Ranger mini-arc. I mean why did they shoot this scene this way? Were they aware in post production? Did they just decide to say fuck it? My keen eye goes towards the latter, and with the set not even complete I feel like the production crew felt this was going to be a dud. Everything looked so simple, from the set to the characters, which were all bland.

Now that I’ve actually looked back and basically asked my 8 year old self “Why did you like this?”, I’m watching the Green Ranger story arc, “Green With Evil” and the question I keep asking myself is:

“Why?!”

Episode one, “Out Of Control”, starts off with an Angel Grove martial arts competition with a stereotypical Asian martial artist showing off his skills. Then it cuts to the Rangers talking about Jason kicking ass. We are introduced to Tommy for the first time as Kimberly gets insanely thirsty over him. After a cut away to Rita and her henchman with the bad dubbing and horrible lip syncing, Jason and Tommy end up kicking the crap out of each other in the finals. A guy basically named “Judge’s Call” declares it a draw after what feels like a full minute. After the match, they go to the juice bar only for Kim to continue to want to have that tall glass of water.

Cut to the next day at school and Bulk and Skull are talking to Kim at the lockers, and I feel that these guys were the only redeeming quality looking back. They were there to teach us the one thing that ended up being the rule of the internet: “Don’t be a dick.” Tommy then comes to the rescue as he does only one thing to scare off the bullies…a quick showing of martial arts kicking and punching at absolutely nothing.

For some reason, Rita ends up sending Putties to test Tommy to see if he’s worthy enough to be the Green Ranger. With 4 Putties down, she then goes to Angel Grove to kidnap him herself and encase him in something like looks like a big damn booger. Within the blink of a eye, he’s completely clean from the goo and granted the power of the 6th power coin.

After Alpha and Zordon go to sleep, he teleports his way into the Command Center and fucks everything up, breaking the panels and Alpha in the process. Zordon goes away from the green screen tube as Rita is just giggling her ass off.

The next scene has the Rangers realize that their communicators are down, and they fly in a car that Billy made as alternate transportation to get to the command center. Yes, a high school kid gave a CAR the ability to FLY.

Rita sends Putties, Goldar gets big, and the Rangers call for their Zords. They get knocked out of their Megazords so then it goes into the first fight between Tommy and Jason in the Ranger outfits

It started and ended like a fart. Quick, and very lackluster.

They go back to the Command Center to check on Alpha and Zordon but the command center is too fucked up to get them back to full power….on this episode.

Yes, this is episode 1 of a 5 part story arc…and I really don’t know how long I can keep this up.

I guess as long as everyone else in the Bunker keeps the TV on for me, I should be okay for another one.

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